No skulduggery. Now waywardness. No hip-thrusting,bosom heaving and garment shedding. No photographs of bands on stage. No swearing. No admittance directly from Green’s Hotel. No moral laxity. No bribing the Inspector. No quicksteps, unless Bombay speed. No seeing red when you see Green. No mouldy figs. No plagiarising King Oliver tunes. No sleeping with the python. No counterfeit permits. No spitting.

All are welcome.

This is what greets clients to Dishoom, where you step back into a little Bombay history when liquor was prohibited during the British occupation, unless you had a permit to drink in a permitted establishment, and you had to follow the rules like a proper Brit.

I love, love, love the nod to Iranian immigrants to India (google Irani Cafes) and bringing that culture from India to London. It truly shows the nomadic nature of humanity, and the fact that this was not something strictly happening in the 20th and 21st century. Iranians moved to Southeast Asia, India and Pakistan.

The decor reflects the time and the spirit of Bombay, down to the cuisine, the drinks and the style of the menus. Dishoom has a hint of humour and intelligent wit, and it goes all the way through the decor, marketing to the staff.

Breakfast, lunch, dinner is on the menu at Dishoom. Not to be so caught up in the past means that they have vegan, gluten-free, children’s menu, and more to cater to almost every single demographic.

So what’s the thing to have? For lunch, the Lamb Raan is definitely the what to have. It’s a leg of lamb marinated in chilli, garlic, and ginger, braised over night, and then flamed grilled, sliced and given the lime treatment. It literally melts in your mouth, alongside a spicy explosion of flavours. It was so good I didn’t want to share. Bad Dot!

For drinks, you definitely want to head to The Permit Room at Shoreditch. Juleps, toddies, gimlets, slings, martinis, and more. I’m not sure what was better – the drinks or the lunch – so I’m declaring it a tie.

If you’re tired of the typical pub experience, or the snobby experience, and you want something orientated from afar, then I highly recommend checking out Dishoom. Especially Shoreditch. The staff will make you feel right at home.